It ain’t over. What O.G. birthers are saying now…

Are birthers satisfied? Never! In their view, a black man is unqualified to be the President no matter what. Especially if his middle name happens to be “Hussein.” #MuslimAlert

Next up: How can a black man not only gain admission but graduate magna cum laude from Harvard Law School? Vital questions as our duly elected Commander-in-Chief conducts three wars.

Will some birthers deny their previous condition of birthertude? Probably. But not O.G. birthers.

My hometown newspaper’s comment wall is my window into the world of dumb racists. Enjoy some of these gems from earlier today:

sand lapper, 9:18 AM:  “I’m sure that is the REAL birth certificate. Suuuuure.”

starcar, 9:18:  “What was so hard about that? Did they have to create it? You can tell election time is nearing..”

my2centsworth, 9:26 AM:  “I’m calling BS on that Birth Certificate being legit… If I filed a request for my Birth Certificate it clearly asks you expect a 6 week delay, possibly.”

rooster07, 9:43 AM:  “Someone is going to be fired over this. It should never take this long to create a false document for the President. Unacceptable!”

withgod, 9:53 AM:  “Muslim Obama is hiding something or he wouldn’t have spent millions hiding his past. We know that he was raised in a communist home, his mother was ant-American and his father was a Muslim and after Obama was born he went back to his African wife in Africa. One of the things he may be hiding is he was born out of wedlock.”

hossdog001, 10:07:  “My son was born in another country and it states “CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH”….So barack hussein obama jam it where the sun don’t shine!!!!! My opinion is that you are the “ANTICHRIST!!!”

keyesforpres, 11:48 AM:  “there is a difference between “native born” and “natural born”. To be eligible for the presidency one must be “natural born” not “native born”. The good news is everything O has signed and all his judge appointments are null and void!!”

keyesforpres, 12:19:  “The idiots that voted for O and think they are getting free healthcare are too stupid to understand that they will be forced to buy health insurance under the “free” healthcare law.  Muslims are exempt and over 1000 special interest groups and corp. are excempt. Including the unions that wanted the bill passed.”

And my favorite:

yankeedoodle, 12:44 PM:  “I think the more important fact is in this sentence.

“It says his father, Barack Hussein Obama, age 25, was African and born in Kenya and his mother was Caucasian and born in Wichita, Kan.”

Obama is Caucasian. It always goes by the mothers race. I could care less about the race of the President, but did not appreciate him using it as the tool to get him elected, when in fact it isn’t true.”

“It” ALWAYS goes by the mother’s race, y’all!  What a relief.

The Week In Crazy

Just when I thought the post-January 20, 2009, world of socialized deficit-infested breast fed by force gaiety had achieved the zenith of wackiness, America got even crazier this week:

-  Monica Crowley referred to President Obama as “Mubarak Obama,” because Obama’s Justice Department issued a well-reasoned and not-out-of-the-ordinary opinion on the constitutionality and defensibility of the Defense of Marriage Act. Without getting into the obvious pander to the frothing and foaming “Obama is a Nazi Muslim” legion of fools, my understanding of the Egyptian people’s grievances with Hosni Mubarak does not include “articulating reasonable rationale for declining to defend potentially discriminatory legislation.” But I digress into the land of thought and reason, also known as Candy Mountain.

- During a public forum, a likely well-armed constituent asked Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA) “who is going to shoot Obama,” which apparently drew a big laugh from the crowd. Broun’s meager response: “The thing is, I know there’s a lot of frustration with this president.” Let’s pause and reflect on the wages of speaking ill of the President in the pre-January 20, 2009, world, and gingerly move on.

- Only 52% of polled Americans are aware that the health care reform bill is still in effect. Keep hope alive, ignorami! Sooner or later, the government will take its filthy hands off of Medicare.

- Finally, the Craziest Guy in Christendom, Alan Keyes, proffered this week’s batshit pièce de résistance. In a bizarre formulation which would necessarily prohibit the marriage of heterosexual couples who don’t desire (or aren’t able to have) children, Keyes compared legalized gay marriage to legalized slavery. Yep.

My friend Nick Abbate (who obviously did well on the SAT analogy section) wrote several perfect responsive corollaries:

“Allowing children to eat bananas is like granting Nazis the right to strangle baby llamas. Allowing Applebee’s to serve nachos is like granting NASA the right to incinerate Betty White. Allowing [Name of Friend One redacted] to roam free is like granting [Name of Friend Two redacted] the right to space dock with your mom.”

Space docking with your mom. That’s crazy I can believe in!